I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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