Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
