so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
