there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
