Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You pole danced in your parka.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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