I'm jealous of your bromance
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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