in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
