you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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