it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
