Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
