my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
