Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
