I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
