sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
