it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
