Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
