What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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