i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
