there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
