Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
