So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
