so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize