he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am spending my child support on dildos
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize