barbara walters just said penis...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
