wat bout pragnant strippers??
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
