dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
