put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
