i need an iv and a liver transplant
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
