my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
