escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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