dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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