the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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