dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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