I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize