My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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