You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
