i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
