I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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