I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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