alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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