3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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