I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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