Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
