i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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