I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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