Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
