just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
