She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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