Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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