she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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