Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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