Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
