I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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