I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
