Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
