My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
