If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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