More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm having to shit out rocks
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