are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
