so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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