You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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