Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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